Directed by: James Nguyen
Written by: James Nguyen
Starring: Alan Bagh, Whitney Moore, Thomas Favaloro
IMDb Link
Yes, Birdemic got a sequel. One of the worst, most cheaply made films of all time got a sequel. Kill me.
I don't even know what to say about this film, it's literally a repeat of the first film. Two people meet in a restaurant who happened to know each other from high school, they get together, some incredibly awkward scenes that have nothing to do with anything happen, the actual Birdemic from the title happens about an hour in and only because the main characters have sex, some more incredibly awkward scenes related to the Birdemic happen,there's some global warming stuff, the movie ends. It's a failure in every regard, from pacing to dialogue to sound mixing and editing, the film is an assault on the senses that drains you to your very core and leaves you sick all over your body, wondering what you're doing with your life.
To makes matters worse, the film behaves in a pseudo-meta way. The film's opening line is edited badly on purpose to sound the same as the first film's opening line. Characters are re-introduced for no reason other than the fact that they were in the first film. They even use coat hangers to fight off the birds in a ..."hilarious"... callback to the first Birdemic. The film even takes oddly spiteful shots at Hollywood filmmaking, then tries to pass off its own shoddy work as a commentary on Hollywood methods (you gotta have tits and blood and stuff if you wanna be successful, guys). In the first one it was so pathetically cringe-worthy that it was almost endearing; here, with the apparent self-awareness this whole film just comes off as conceited, like the Director thought he was making some backlash at Hollywood for not recognising his genius, that the first Birdemic is an underrated masterpiece and Birdemic 2 is somehow simultaneously an attempt at a Hollywood sequel and a film that admonishes Hollywood sequels. Birdemic 2 ends up being neither; just a sad excuse for a film made by someone who has no idea how to make a film or even tell a story.
There's not else to say about this film without getting in to the details of the plot, which I really don't want to do because if you haven't seen this film then you have no idea just how many pointless scenes are in this film, and you can't fathom just how draining an experience it is to sit through this literal trash. A friend of mine who sat down to watch the film with me while I wrote this review is now lying on the floor, catatonic, slowly losing the will to live as this movie trudges along. That's essentially what this film does to anyone; you truly cannot comprehend how bad this movie is without watching, so in that way, I almost recommend it; Birdemic 2 is an exercise in appreciating good film, because by witnessing this you'll be able to better understand the little things in most movies, like pacing, editing, sound mixing, acting, dialogue, and a coherent story.
The Verdict: Birdemic 2 is a poorly-conceived attempt at self-awareness, a movie that tries and fails to get by on Birdemic references and weak shots at Hollywood filmmaking. Depending on how you look at it, it's either slightly more bearable than the first because it has noticeably higher production value, or it's far worse because someone decided to make a sequel to one of the worst movies of all time by making essentially the same movie, and thinking that that's ok. There's nothing of value here (like that's a surprise), but if you enjoyed harming yourself by watching the first Birdemic, you'll probably get the same sick sensation from watching the sequel. I still can't believe that they decided that making a sequel to this film would be a good idea.
Rating: 1/10
Published March 3rd, 2017
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