Directed by: Roger Christian
Written by: Corey Mandell, J.D. Shapiro, based upon the book by L. Ron Hubbard (yes, the guy who came up with scientology)
Starring: John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Barry Pepper
IMDb Link
Man, this is considerably worse then Highlander II. Battlefield Earth is undoubtedly one of the worst movies ever made, a literal headache to watch that I recommend to no-one, even ironically.
Normally I start these with a discussion of the film's plot, since so many of the worst films are completely incomprehensible from beginning to end. Battlefield Earth isn't an exception here, but there's one key aspects of the film that needs to be talked about first.
I talked a little about this already in my "10 Worst of the 366" list, pointing out the film's use of Dutch Angles, but I cannot emphasise this enough because it's so egregious that it actually gives me a headache if I look at the film for too long. Every single shot is tilted slightly to the left or the right, and it switches between the two seemingly at random. There's also the truly bizarre transition cuts, which start from the middle and wipe outwards at a random diagonal angle. If there was a rhyme or reason for these choices, it might be impressive, but there's seemingly no purpose for the director's choice to shoot this way. While we're on the subject of visual elements of the film, the awful experience is dampened further by the film's ugly colour scheme and and derivative sci-fi style. Everything is tinted in a boring blue and grey indoors, a gross yellow outdoors, or purple if they're on the alien planet Psychlo. It wouldn't be much of an issue if the film didn't look so hideous because of it; the colours are usually heavily tinted so heavily that it just adds to the uncomfortability of having to look at the film, and the few relieving moments of beautiful treelines and mountains don't make up for the rest of this film's aesthetic. The sci-fi look of the film is nothing new in its design, and so cheaply done that it looks like a complete Star Trek knock off.
Now for the actual plot of this movie, because it's a doozy. Earth has been under control of the alien species known as Psychlo for a thousand years. The creatures are apparently so advanced that humanity was completely subjugated, with only a few scattering to live in caveman-like societies. An ambitious Psychlo named Terl (Travolta) has been forcibly stationed at Earth because he pissed off the wrong people, so he uses a group of humans to mine gold in order to attempt to buy his way off the planet. Underestimating humanity's intelligence, Terl gives one human, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Pepper, and yes, that's the character's actual name), rapid education and makes him a foreman at the mine, but Jonnie uses his to start a revolution, defeat the Psychlos and save humanity. It's a heavily imitative story, with the first half playing out like a bad mixture of Planet of the Apes and one of the weaker episodes of Andromeda, and the second half looking like an awfully discount Star Wars, without any of the excitement or tension.
The most obvious thing wrong with this movie, however, is John Travolta's performance. It's so hammy I could make a sandwich with the movie's disc. In another movie it might actually be entertaining because of how unnecessarily over the top it is, but with so many other aspects of this movie ultimately causing me actual physical pain, Travolta is just a nuisance that manages to eek out a couple of unintentional laughs from me. His... "acting" speaks for itself. While there is so much this movie gets wrong, Travolta's performance stands out.
The Verdict: Battlefield Earth will drain the life from you. It's a slow, tinted, tilted mess of sci-fi trope soup that isn't even enjoyable in an ironic "so bad it's good" way. Avoid it at all costs unless you enjoy simulating the feeling of your brain exiting your head through your ears.
Rating: 1/10. I'd also like to mention that this is currently on my list of the ten worst films of all time.
Published February 24th, 2017
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